"Take your broken heart and turn it into art." — Carrie Fisher
The death of a loved one is never easy. We are always left with ruminations of words left unsaid, or situations from the past we wish we could change. But after a loved one takes their own life, those regrets are amplified infinitely.
As a writer who lost her father to suicide, the only medicine I knew was to write about it. But I wanted it to be a fictional story and I wanted it to end differently than my real life loss. So, I put pen to paper and fingers to keyboard and rewrote his story.
My father and I had a complex dynamic, but at the very heart of it was unconditional love. My heart ached (and still does) with a grief so overwhelming that I questioned how I could make it through that much pain. I wanted to go back in time and change every tense interaction and every ill word I'd ever said to him. More than anything, I longed to know that he knew how much I loved him.
I struggled to let go of wishing I could change the past and instead, ulitmately, chose to give him the responsibility of his choice to leave this world. That autonomy, mixed with a guttural knowing that suicide leaves ripples of guilt and responsibility with those still alive, is what inspired my literary fiction suspense novel, "Dead Daddy Issues".
While the title "Dead Daddy Issues" may initially suggest dark humor, it belies the novel's profound examination of how our relationships with our fathers, both living and dead, shape our understanding of family dysfunction, personal autonomy, and forgiveness.
My book examines themes of fate, betrayal, complex family dynamics and one's right to choose when they die. The themes are deep, but the story's plot keeps the reader highly engaged and turning the pages.
I don't want to give away the ending—to know you'll have to read the book—but I hope that you will. And if you do, I hope the story moves you and gets you to contemplate some of life's most profound questions.
Corrin DaCosta
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